A shot in the Arm

It's been a while since I've blogged  anything.  Okay, it's been almost 4 months.  My original plans were to blog once a week, then twice a month, then maybe once a month.  I've been giving presentations on dyslexia in the music field, which means getting up in front of people and admitting that I'm dyslexic, that I'm a lousy sight-reader, and that I have no physical means or medical diagnosis to prove it.

And I must admit that, lately, I've been reverting to old habits and chalking up my shortcomings to lack of talent.  I've always supported the idea that you can acheive your dreams, no matter what they are, if you work hard enough.  And I've had musical friends/colleagues who say they have the love of the instrument, just not the talent to take it where they wanted.  And I've always thought that they just didn't want it bad enough.

Well, I've wanted sight-reading, and I've worked my butt off for over 30 years trying to improve my reading skills.  I've embarrassed myself in front of fellow musicians, in front of audiences, in front of congregations, in front of myself, in an effort to break through that invisible barrier.

When I realized that dyslexia was a large part of my problem, my initial reaction was euphoria.  It wasn't just me being stupid or not having the talent, it was a genuine inability, one of those truly insurmountable barriers.

But talking about my own dyslexia hasn't improved my reading abilities, and it has begun to undermine my self-worth as a musician.  All my life I've fought the attitude that music is only for the extraordinarily gifted.  But where in the music field do I fit in?

Well, I got an indirect answer, a shot in the arm, today when I got a call from a teacher who is working with a couple of dyslexic students.  She described her approach, which was to teach the piece by ear/rote, then use the music to help the student connect what they saw with what they heard.  She wasn't sure whether she was using the right approach.  And she was debating whether to re-start another student whom she is realizing is also dyslexic, but wanted my opinion on whether it might be better for her to refer the student to a Suzuki teacher.

My answer was that the student/teacher relationship takes priority more than pedagogical approach.  And I said that her description sounded to me like she was absolutely on the right track with her approach.  And I asked how she felt about teaching by ear/rote, then using the music as supplemental.  Her response was relief, encouragement, and rejuvinated dedication.  And thanks.

Actually, I really need to thank her.  She has no idea what her phone call did for my morale and worth as a (dyslexic) musician.