Elite vs Ordinary: Room for both?

I'm giving my dyslexia (dyslexic?) presentation this upcoming Thursday at the Mu Phi Epsilon 2014 International Conference in Sacramento, California, and I am performing the Chopin A-flat Ballade on Friday in the alumni chapter group recital.

 

Yes, I'm stressed.  I'm used to audiences filled with students and friends, not world-class artists with active solo, conservatory, and university careers.

 

It's very easy to get discouraged when listening to elite artists who are at the very top of the music profession. It's very easy to think that it's not worth playing when there's no chance of playing as well as someone like Mitsuko Uchida, or Artur Rubenstein, or any of those really really special pianists. 

I'll be playing before a bunch of elite musicians, among whom I am well aware I do not belong.  But my playing was heard by the person who chose me as one of the performers, and I must believe that she heard something that she really liked and felt that I qualify to be part of this particular group of elite performers.  It might be a rare opportunity that I have never had a chance to experience because of the limitations imposed by my dyslexia.  And while I may not be a powerhouse player, I am a professional performer and teacher. 

 

No.  Scratch all of the above.  I am a musician who feels music from the heart.  That's not a quality that wins competitions, but it is a quality that brings music alive.

 

Should music be only for those who are exceptional artists?  There are certainly a lot of professional artists out there who think so.

 

Or did God give us those exceptional artists to help us hear the music we love so that we may also play it in our own way and with our own hearts despite personal limitations?

I'll be performing along with conservatory gurus, faculty powerhouses, and competition winners.  With my limitations its all too easy to compare myself with the exceptional players and wonder whether I should even show up.  I mean, against musicians like these, why bother playing piano at all?

 

Because in my own way I make a difference.  I have an adult student who is severely dyslexic, possibly from childhood head injuries sustained over time from physical abuse.  She began studying piano with me a little over a year ago.  She had been through many teachers, each one finally losing patience with her lack of progress according to their expectations.  The first thing I did was throw out expectations and help her simply learn to read, regardless of how slow her reading was.  Over the year I have helped her learn to play some of her favorite hymns and a couple of classical pieces.  Yes, her reading is slow and her coordination is difficult, but the enjoyment I see her experience is some of the most rewarding feedback I've ever experienced.

 

It's so very easy to compare and compete when music only wants to be heard. A score is nothing until someone sits down and re-creates the beauty that God created through human hands. It does not have to be at one level of excellence to be beautiful. It only needs to be heard.  

 

This is something that I've been thinking about constantly because I am stressed.  But I must believe that music is for everyone, not only for the elite. And as long as I keep that thought in my heart, I'll be okay.